Song of Time and Song of Storms

The joy this brings me :)

Something by Snarky Puppy ft. Lalah Hathaway

Difference Maker by Needtobreathe

First heard this song last year at their concert here in Houston at the House of Blues. Been in love with it ever since :)
Already pre-ordered Rivers In the Wasteland which will be released April 15, 2014. Pre-order yours here http://store.needtobreathe.com/


Difference Maker

Yeah, isn't it amazing how a man can find himself alone
Call into the darkness for an answer that's he's never known
Yeah, isn't it amazing how God can take a broken man
Yeah, let him find a fortune, let him ruin it with his own two hands

And he climbs on up the hill on the rock on which he stands
He looks back at the crowd
He looks down at his hands and he says
I am a difference maker

Oh, I am the difference maker
Oh, I am the only one who speaks to him
And I am the friendliest of friends of God

Yeah, isn't it amazing how a man can find himself alone
Call into the darkness for an answer that's he's never known
Yeah, isn't it amazing how a God can take a broken man
Yeah, let him find a fortune, let him ruin it with his own two hands

He walks on up the hill to the rock on which he stands
He looks back at the crowd
He looks down at his hands and he says
I am a difference maker

Oh, I am the difference maker
Oh, I am the only one that speaks to him
And I am the friendliest of friends of God

I am on the fence about nearly everything I've seen
And I have felt the fire be put out by too much gasoline
And we're all strangers passing through a place and time afternoon
Life is but a vision in a window that we're peeking through

A helpless conversation with a man who says he cares a lot
It's a hopeless confrontation about who might throw a punch or not
We are all transgressors, we're all sinners, we're all astronauts
So if you're beating death then raise your hand but shut up if you're not

'Cause I am the difference maker
Oh, I am the only one that speaks to him
And I am the friendliest of friends of God

I am the difference maker
Oh, I am the only one that speaks to him
And I am the friendliest of friends of God

I am the difference maker
Oh, I am the only one that speaks to him
And I am the friendliest of friends of God

...

Emotions, emotions, emotions.

*sigh*

Throughout my day I swear there are moments when I begin to have little daydreams about how things would be if the desires that my emotions have been birthed from were a part of my reality. Looking at situations from a perspective unlike others from my past. Like, "How differently would this play out if...", "What would happen if...", and so many what if's there isn't a way to keep track.
These thoughts and emotions come in with a fierceness that is inexplicable...and as much as I attempt to put my finger on it...it slips away. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I know very well what it is. I could not only place a finger, but a whole freaking hand on it.

It's a crazy little thing called denial.

It's been leaving me in the same position for the last few weeks.
Up in the middle of the night just thinking.

....I wonder if he knows that he is the subject of my 3a.m. thoughts.

Black Human Torch?

This rumor has been out for a little while but I didn't know it had been confirmed until a few days ago. Initially I was indifferent bc although MBJ is one of my favorites (standing strong since them Reggie days lol) Fantastic Four adaptations are always tragic (no offense to anyone who enjoyed that last one). Happy that he would get to do anything Marvel related, but eh bc...well, "Hollywood" can botch like no other can. Today I came across a crap load of articles of people saying that he shouldn't play the human torch bc he's a Black guy and the torch is traditionally white. Which is crazy because is this not the EXACT same argument that went on with the Green Latern? (And Lord knows that movie was a miss) Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, whatever... All of these folks are vying for their own race to play a part not really understanding how amazingly dumb and prejudice their reasonings are. Anyone who is a fan of comics knows just how quickly a character can change. Abilities, allies, origins, tactics, even species...it flips all the freaking time! What do us comic lovers do? We read them and go with the flow. While we may have our preferred versions, we don't act like a bunch of idiots who want an entire recasting bc of skin color. Could we just join forces in praying that the movie comes out amazing and stop worrying about things that don't really matter? #FantasticFour #MichaelBJordan

Happy Birthday Link

Afternoon Reminder :)

Explanations.

As a younger lady I found it necessary to explain to someone exactly what I was going to do to resolve a problem. If they constantly belittled me I just had to let them know that I would, from there on out, distance myself from them. If a guy acted as if he liked me but couldn't make his mind up, I just had to tell ole dude that I wasn't for the games before going on my way.
But, why? Lol
Seriously.
Who do I owe an explanation to about what I know is best for me. It is not necessary to tell someone why you're walking away or investing less into yalls relationship. Honestly, if it gets to that point (especially if they don't even notice the difference) then what does an explanation do? If someone cares about you then they care. You shouldn't have to make a big statement declaring that you're gonna do this in order to flip a switch for them.
If they do notice then you tell them why things changed...but don't bend yourself out of shape to get a point across.
That's just my opinion.

Trouble Sleeping

Quite literally having a tough time falling asleep but thankfully it isn't due to some crazy stressed filled reason. I'm just thinking....
Yes, that good ole 3am thinking.
I want what God has for me, but there are times when you reeeally want for His Will and your desires to match up. Not because your desires are His Will, but because you truly do want what you desire.

BUT I'll pray because that's what brings about results, answers, comfort...you know, everything I kinda need right about now lol

Gonna pray then watch some One Piece (don't judge me)...

Right after I listen to the song that instantly popped into my head when I realized what it might be that's keeping me up...


Gnight, yall ;)



It's late and I'm feeling so tired
Having trouble sleeping.
This constant compromise
Between thinking and breathing.

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love

Some kind of therapy
Is all I need
Please believe me
Some instant remedy
That can cure me completely

Could it be that I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't seem myself
Couldn't I blame something else?

Just don't say I'm falling in love
'cause I've been there before and it's not enough
So nobody say it

Don't even say it
I've got my eyes shut
Won't look, oh
No, I'm not in love

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in?
I'm falling love
Tell me I don't seem myself good enough for something else

Just don't say I'm falling in love
Falling in love
Just don't say I'm falling in love
Oh, yeah
Falling love ooh
Oh, oh, don't say that I'm falling in love, don't say that, oh
Just don't say that I'm falling in love, yeah
Just don't say that I'm falling in love
Don't say but in the answer
'Cause I'll never give in
Oh
Falling in love
Yeah
Oh

If You Come Softly by Audre Lorde

Read this back in middle school and randomly thought about it today.
Figured I would share :)

If You Come Softly

If you come as softly
As the wind within the trees
You may hear what I hear
See what sorrow sees.

If you come as lightly
As threading dew
I will take you gladly
Nor ask more of you.

You may sit beside me
Silent as a breath
Only those who stay dead
Shall remember death.

And if you come I will be silent
Nor speak harsh words to you.
I will not ask you why now.
Or how, or what you do.

We shall sit here, softly
Beneath two different years
And the rich between us
Shall drink our tears.

Happy Birthday Sterling Valentine Smith (Late Post)

"First off I would like to give thanks to my Lord and Savior. To the One who delivered me from the hands of my sin."
Had to come on here like a Southern Baptist because I've been praising like a Pentecostal! lol jk
Seriously though...I AM HAPPY!

Recently we celebrated my Grandfather's 76th birthday and that entire weekend reminded me of what real love looks like among others. Most of us have interactions with people almost all day and still lack intimacy simply because they're typically strangers who can't provide that for you. Even with family things can get a bit stale when routines set in.
This weekend though! It was amazing! Family from different states came in, cooked, played games, laughed, and just brought in so much joy.

There aren't even words to describe how beautiful it was.

My PawPaw absolutely enjoyed the fact that so many people showed up to celebrate with him (around 60 folks showed up)

He's the light skin brotha, the sassy chocolate behind him is my lovely Granny, and the guy to the right is his brother.

My brother surprised him by coming all the way from South Korea:

It was completely awesome in every way. Enjoyed myself to the fullest and I'm thankful for the Lord allowing us that day with each other.

My Tortilla Chip and I

The One and ONLY Sterling Valentine (legit name isn't it?)

This is Queen Chocolate aka G-Mama. I get this smoothness from her ;)

Clearly excited...

True joy in his eyes as we sung him Happy Birthday...had to cut the camera off to go check on my PawPaw.

I Ain't Got An Answer