There are not many years of life under my belt, but the Lord has granted me numerous opportunities to gain experience. I've been where many have not, gone through what many couldn't imagine, and conquered feats that some twice my age have yet to even consider. The woman I am is the woman God molded me to be. He has given me knowledge, wisdom, experience, His Word, and a heart that breaks for this world for a reason. It's senseless to wait until I am "qualified" to a few, before I stand up to make a difference.
He's given me my gifts and I fully intend to use.

You know what I hate?
Feeling torn.

I've been in a position that has caused me to compromise and fall into a pit of unhappiness.
Then something comes along to show me what I could have if I just let go of what's holding me back...
And I love the idea of it.

It's immature to move based on emotions alone. This is something I need to pray about.

There's no reason for someone else to stick with me like this.

If You Come Softly

If you come as softly
As the wind within the trees
You may hear what I hear
See what sorrow sees.

If you come as lightly
As threading dew
I will take you gladly
Nor ask more of you.

You may sit beside me
Silent as a breath
Only those who stay dead
Shall remember death.

And if you come I will be silent
Nor speak harsh words to you.
I will not ask you why now.
Or how, or what you do.

We shall sit here, softly
Beneath two different years
And the rich between us
Shall drink our tears.


Audre Lorde

"If Gangsta's Don't Dance, Why You Tapping With the Devil"

When standing in a certain position you can try to look back on your life to see when you stepped off the correct path, but honestly, I didn't care to go over the details. The nub and gist was that I allowed myself to make a Lot move for my personal comfort. Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom (Gen13:12) Lot chose a location that held the promise of prosperity, though he was fully aware of the nearby Sodom's evil reputation. He completely underestimated the power sin can have when you have weak faith. After being sinned against, I walked away seeking comfort. Didn't care from who or in what form, but I knew I wanted it right away. My first step to a "new life" was placing myself in a position that looked promising for immediate results. Sadly, it was riddled with an evil reputation. Clearly, I underestimated sin, and I underestimated my vulnerability. I was weak in my faith in that moment, seeking something to replace what I'd lost, and almost knowingly exposed myself to corruption. In my mind the fact that I could see the sin and knew I wasn't participating, made me believe I was doing a pretty darn good job of evading it. We've all been there. We flirt with temptation, having no intentions of ever participating in the sin that comes with it. Some just want a way to feel better instantaneously. Some have a desire of personal notoriety. No matter our reason or intention, we roll up to temptation thinking we're invincible. Next thing we know though, we've moved closer than ever before, and now we find ourselves being run by temptation to the point of being desensitized to certain sins. When our hearts can easily take the weight of sin, our faith becomes weakened. And when our faith is weak...we give in. Attempting to find comfort outside of the Father will lead you stumbling down a dark road. Attempting to "live" near sin by going to places we know we shouldn't be, going along with what we know we shouldn't do, and allowing ourselves to get buddied up with the distasteful will bring us down. Lot ignored what he knew Sodom was about, yet he eventually moved within the city walls, which ended up exposing his entire family to corruption, and later led to his wife's death. Let's not make that mistake by understanding that we must move away from sin no matter how enticing it may be. God knows what we're faced with and has given us the tools we need: His strength His power His Word It all comes down to us making the right first step... In Christ, Allie J.

Exodus 14 Devotional: We Are NEVER Alone

For awhile now I have been struggling with the feeling of aloneness. Following a tragic incident in life, fear filled my heart and God slowly began to seem distant. Through it all, I have hung on to Him, even on days when I’m discouraged. The other day was one of those days. Yet in the darkness of that day, the story of the Israelites’ escape from slavery in Egypt brought me so much hope and comfort. After years of captivity in slavery, Pharaoh finally agreed to let them go, but soon after they left he changed his mind. He got together the best of his best and pursued them. The Israelites heard the rumbling of the chariots behind them and they saw the sea blocking their way. This terrified them, causing them to cry out to Moses! He reassured them by reminding them of God’s promise that they would be delivered. As reassuring as that promise should have been, the Israelites still cried out because their circumstance had DOUBT written all over it. They allowed their situation to outweigh the promise of God so they were too blinded by what they could physically see, to see the miraculous. The Lord’s pillars of cloud and fires (both of which had always been there) moved into position behind God’s people. The pillar of cloud brought darkness to the Egyptians and light to the Israelites! Then God turned the sea into dry land, providing them a way, out of what they assumed was a situation with no positive outcome. God worked through the night. He worked throughout the darkness on behalf of His people. It reminded me that He is doing the same for me. In dark times we can make one or two choices. We can take things into our own hands, attempt to work through them with our own limited thinking...or we can look to God. “I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5) Mama said there’ll be days like this, but my Holy Father says that He’s got it! In Christ, Allie J.