Dec 16, 2012

In Need of a Little Clarity


Lately it has been a huge deal for me to find out what the next thing is. With school, with ministry, and life in general. I'm in the place I am right now, about to step off of a ledge, and I have no clue what so ever what's next.All I know is what it is that I love and have a deep passion for. That's pretty much it...Can't even really clarify on what it is that I want to do after school anymore. I know what it is that would be nice, but ultimately I want what God wants and that has changed over the past year. He seems to be steering me towards things that pertain to what it is that I need to be doing by taking me away from situations that I need to get out of. But like I said...I don't have that clarity.
What remains is my love for Jesus, young adults, mentally ill and/or disabled people, theatre & film, and encouraging others. I have come to realize that I am empathetic to the point where I feel as if I can feel others pain and emotions. Like physically feel it to the point that I literally begin to hurt. That always makes me place myself in another persons spot to see things from their perspective. Even when done wrong I feel bad for that person because a lot of the time their actions were caused by something. Whether it be fear, hurt, or anger. Something pushed them to that point, and though  their action may not be right, it still makes me sad. You know...How powerful is a pain to cause someone to feel like they aren't worthy of living? To cause them to set out, intent on destroying others lives...It's grieves me terribly.
I know a part of what the Lord wants me to do because of the weight it places on my heart. He's given me a heart that wants very badly to not only let people know they're loved, but to somehow ensure they feel loved. And to know that they have worth and purpose.

 That's what I desire. That's what I have to give while in the Earth realm...and I don't know how I'm supposed to do that to the multitude of which He ordered.
That fact really bothers me.

1 comment:

  1. You simply need to be still and listen to His next instructions for your life; be still and know that He is God. One of the things I sincerely admire about you is your obedience to God and your ability to wait, hear, and act accordingly to His instructions. In the meantime, go about His business in doing other things for His kingdom and somewhere in the mist of your “working for God” He’ll put you on the right path; one that’s pleasing to Him and rewarding for you! You’re an awesome young lady who’s going to be a blessing wherever the Lord leads you!

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