Every time I log onto my email I have to resist logging onto my ex's account as well. That's been a struggle for awhile seeing that I felt it was necessary to check on what he was doing every hour on the hour. While together I did it often until I realized that it wasn't healthy. For the most part I was beyond successful, only logging on when he knew about it.
My instinct to look and see if he's been cheating is still heavy...and we're not even together. The amount of mistrust I have for him was and still is beyond outrageous...clearly.
I'm gonna fight this with all that I have because I hate feeling this way.
The need to look is so strong it's dang near controlling...almost compulsive. As if I can't relax until I see for myself that everything is the way it should be.
God, I don't want these feelings.
Please, take this away.
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